On Unrequited Love *My first love *College love *mis-love
I loved thee but I told thee not … (Clare)
Let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments!
For my sweet love remember’d, such wealth brings! (Shakespeare)
I cherish her for in me she bides! (Sidney)
And once I almost set down by her toes a Magnolia flower.
And most of all I feared that her denial would be my damnation.
Inaction allowed for the worst to occur: nothing.
And then I walked by her, at dark, embraced by another.
And I walk by her as a simple stranger.
And the first time I saw her — I knew & I felt it.
And once I almost wished her into being,
And twice I longed for her & there she was!
And it has only been a year since we last saw,
And still think about her mightily
And sometimes I look up and wonder
And sometimes I look down & imagine
And I thought by connecting our pasts
We could forge a future
And then I heard nothing from her
As if she expected nothing from me
And I never held her hand,
Nor touched her skin
And I wanted to reach across-
But where the bridge?
And I thought a kiss would save me-
Seeing as her hellos warmed me.
And I feared what she saw
But the unknowing hurt as much . . .
And I only knew her in painting
In which I tried to capture her delicate grace
And how she moved in elegance:
And her body was music
And her eyes gems
Her hair waves,
And her voice the sea!
And her legs unexplored caverns
And I the sojourner!
And she my queen, my saint
And I her wearied wanderer
Harried for years on end …
And she my Penelope, waiting for me!
Or my Beatrice
Divided by concentric spheres of hell
And I only wished for wings
To carry me there.
And when she ran to another
—away from me
And when she denied me
-I knew it way okay
To stray away
Removing the blade
I stored her anyway.
And carried her with me.
And when I was locked in
I wish for nothing less …
And they told me to resort to poetry,
To bring me to you
So maybe out of these lines
We could start anew
So, what’s up w/ you?
And maybe if I pray to Christ
He may bring me to you
But for now the muses
Will have to do
And I cried for her
And she for me?